


Lost and Broken

by hammy_ham



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Depression, Kidnapping, M/M, Missing Persons, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-02-27 05:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13241205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hammy_ham/pseuds/hammy_ham
Summary: The whip cracked against his back, and it took all his strength not to scream. The blood trailed down his back, and all he could do was pray they'd rescue him soon.





	1. Awake

Alex woke up to a pounding headache. A bright light shone down onto him, only magnifying the pain. He tried to cover his eyes, but his hands couldn't reach. The realization flooded over him. 

**He wasn't at home.**

**His shirt was missing.**

**He was handcuffed to a metal table.**

The air was still and quiet. The walls were dark and windowless. A small television was in the corner of the room, and a table full of sharp looking objects in the corner of the room. A wave of terror washed over him. He struggled and struggled against the handcuffs, but nothing happened. He was sore all over. The more he moved, the greater the pain. 

The memories slowly came back to him. Him and John had been waking home from the gym. As they passed the alley by the cafe, something heavy hit Alex in the back of the head. He was only partially conscious as a dark figure practically threw him onto the table and struggled to remove the shirt. With all his might, Alex kicked at the figure. The man responded by grabbing what appeared to be a whip from the table. The figure threw Alex against the nearby wall, and whipped him back into unconsciousness.

The heavy metal door off to the side of the room creaked open, and a man appeared. His voice was strange, almost inhuman. Alex watched with horror as the figure picked up a scalpel from the table. 

"This is going to hurt," The man chuckled ominously. All Alex could do was shake his head as the man proceeded to lay dozens of shallow cuts all over his torso. 

+++++++++++++

The passage of time seemed to stop. With everyday that passed, the man had a new method of torture prepared. As the man used a tool on the table, he would take it with him as he left. There was one item towards the bottom of the pile that scared Alex nearly to death.

_A condom._

The physical violence towards him wouldn't nearly scar him as much as the mental violence. He spent hour after hour, wondering why it had to be him. What drew the man to him. What made him so _**desirable.**_


	2. John

John woke up in the hospital that afternoon. He lifted his head to see a police officer talking to a doctor in the doorway,and the officer walked in when he saw that John had awoken. 

"Good afternoon Mr. Laurens, my name is Captain Washington with the NYPD. Do you know why I'm here?"

John looked around rubbing his head. He realized that Alex wasn't there. 

"No..." W-where's Alex?" 

Washington looked at him, confused. "Alex?" he asked. "Was someone with you when you were attacked?"

He fell back on the bed, remembering what had happened. Someone attacked Alex as they passed the cafe, and John tried to fight back. But the person was too strong. It was only a few seconds before John was on the ground, getting kicked over and over again in the rib cage, before one final blow to the head. The next thing he knew, he was here. 

He felt a rush of emotion. "Oh my god..." he said. "I let them get away." He looked over at Washington, tears threatening to drip from his eyes. "You have to help me find him..." He took in a shaky breath. "I can't lose him again."

+++++++++

John was discharged a few hours later, and Washington took him to the station. He sat in one of the empty rooms, watching through the windows as the Captain updated the others. Thoughts plagued his mind as he thought about all the things that Alex could be going through while everyone sat there, talking. All the pain he could be in while the people sworn to protect others, were sitting with their feet up drinking coffee.

Washington came in with a sigh. He explained that they couldn't just drop everything and send all their resources into finding him. But they would still send as much as they could. All he could do was rest his head in his hands, and let his imagination drown him. He subconsciously placed a hand on his torso, trying to fight away the phantom pain.


	3. Flesh to Flesh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter starts out just after the man rapes Alex*

Tears rolled down Alex's face as the man stepped down from the table. His lips were bleeding from when he bit them to silence his sobs, and his fingers left dents in the metal from when he grabbed them for dear life. He felt broken.

Alex was powerless as the man rolled him back over, forcing him to lay on his back once again. The man hastily undid the IV that kept his sedated, and left the room in a hurry. Alex sobbed, wishing desperately for his jeans. As he slowly calmed down, he glanced over at the table. There weren't many objects left, but the whip had been there all along, and the man had threatened to use it more than once. His back had already been scarred by the sharp metal tip.

His whole body hurt. Every time he closed his eyes, the man was on top of him. He couldn't sleep without waking up screaming. 

++++++++++

The days went by, and Alex got weaker. His ribcage became more visible, and his arms showed his skeleton. His skin lost its color, and his eyes turned grey. The table was nearly empty, and Alex could only fear hat would happen when it was empty.

++++++++++

One day, Alex figured the man deemed him too weak to be a threat. He left a tray with the usual meal of bread, water, and a few vegetables, and uncuffed him from the table. 

"Get up," he ordered. "To eat, we have to see how much you can handle."

He grabbed Alex by the arm, and practically dragged him towards one of the walls. He threw him against the wall, and grabbed the whip. He forced Alex to count as the metal tore away his skin. It felt like an eternity before his body collapsed, the blood pooling behind him. His body shook against his screams, and the man scoffed at him before leaving. He lied there for hours before crawling towards the tray, desperately biting at the bread. Thoughts of John filled his mind, and he prayed to god he wasn't going through the same fate.


	4. Life Saving Mission

The FBI joined the investigation. John was surprised he hadn't thought about it, but this wasn't the first time the man attacked. The whole town knew about it. Five years prior, two high school boys went missing. Their bodies were found in a nearby forest, raped and tortured. The judge ruled their cause of death as massive blood loss. A rumor went around claiming they had been whipped to death.

It was hardly a year later when it happened again. Another couple was kidnapped, raped, and tortured. The thought struck fear in John's heart. Both times, the boys had been killed within days, the longest one had survived for almost a month. It had been nearly two weeks since Alex was taken, and everyday day that passed, chances became more and more slim.

He wondered why he hadn't been taken with Alex. His nights were plagued with the thoughts. 

_Why makes me any better?_

_Why am I here when Alex is God knows where?_

_Why am I allowed to **survive?**_

Sometimes he swore he could feel a phantom pain all across his back, like something was always slicing him. That pain was the only thing giving him a sliver of hope. Part of him knew that the second the pain ceased, the person he loved wouldn't be there anymore. But another part of him knew, that deep down, maybe it would be better if Alex didn't have to suffer anymore.

++++++++++++

Captain Washington and the FBI finally had a lead. A suspicious man had been seen near an old abandoned hospital throwing a body shaped bag into a dumpster, and according to the witness, it possibly matched the relative size of Alex around the time of the attack. A tactical invasion was planned, and that night they headed out. 

John was forced to remain at the station. He spent what felt like hours lying on the sofa in the lounge, trying to fight back his sobs. It felt like days had gone by when one of the officers came into the room to give him a ride.


	5. Dark

The police car sped down the highway, and John felt his whole body shake. His body grew cold as they pulled up to the emergency room, and he practically fell out of the car as the officer opened it. The ambulance was arriving just after them. Johns blood tuned to ice as they frantically took a person out of the back. 

He was hardly recognizable. He was covered in blood and slashes, and John could see his cheekbones from behind the oxygen mask. A paramedic was crouching over him, trying to secure an IV and stop his bleeding all at once. He looked like a skeleton, like he hadn't eaten in years. John felt his knees collapse beneath him, falling against the cruiser. They rushed Alex into the doors, and the media started rolling in. 

Finding Alex alive was the biggest news story in a long time. He was the first survivor this _monster_ hadn't killed. Officer Washington quickly followed the news trucks, and grabbed John by the shoulders to lead him inside. He lead John to one of the small family room down the hall, and sat with him while Alex was in surgery. 

A surgeon came in nearly six hours later.

"Well, if it wasn't obvious by his appearance, he was close to starvation. From my examination the poor guy it didn't seem like he's been fed at least a week. He's extremely dehydrated, and I can say with full confidence that if he'd entered the OR any later, he wouldn't be alive right now," He sighed, and looked at John directly. "He was sexually assaulted. From what I could tell it was only one or two times. He was whipped and cut several times, and he's probably in shock. You can wait for him to wake up, but I'd recommend waiting till we give the okay for you to see him."

A scream echoed from down the hall, and the doctor quickly excused himself before running down the hallway. John felt his body go limp in the chair. He knew that scream. Alex had woken up, probably trying to get out of the restraints. 

He couldn't imagine everything he had to go through. He resembled a holocaust survivor as they pulled him out of the ambulance, and he couldn't imagine being raped and starved by a captor. 

It was after dark when the doctor came back. He told John that Alex had calmed down enough for a visitor, but he would pull away from every touch. He'd ripped off most of the monitors at first, and would only let female nurses reapply them. The doctor recommended that he wait in the hallway until a nurse got permission from Alex.


	6. Monitors

He looked even worse up close. He was lying on his side, the back of his hospital gown open to expose the long slashes from the whippings. His breathing was shallow, and an oxygen mask covered his face. His hair was stringy and thinning against his scalp, and he clearly hadn't seen the sun in weeks. 

Pain filled his heart as he watched Alex flinch at the slightest touch. Every time the nurse got close to his skin, he would tense, and frantically grab the sheets. His body relaxed when he saw John in the doorway. All at once, Alex started sobbing. 

"O-oh my God..." he managed through sobs. "I...I thought he killed you..."

His whole body shook as John slowly came over to him. "I wanna go home."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

By the time Alex was well enough to leave the hospital, he weighed just over one hundred pounds. His body was frail, and he was to be wheelchair bound until he could regain some strength. It came to a point where he would only trust John to bandage his scars, or to even help him out of bed. He couldn't help but cringe when he saw the whip marks lining his back, but he did his best to stay silent. 

They arrested the man a few weeks later. Washington figured he had left Alex there to starve to death and go through the psychological torture before removing the bodies. They found a body behind the building, John recognized him as a stranger that dropped his wallet on the day they were abducted. The man must've assumed him and Alex were the couple. 

Things didn't get better after that. Some of the wounds had been infected long before he was rescued, and he couldn't gain any weight. He would wake in the middle of the night with a panic attack, and John could do nothing but watch until he calmed down. Everyone knew he didn't have a lot of time left.

Alex succumbed to an infection a few months later at just twenty-nine. His skin never fully regained its color, and he didn't learn to walk without his wheelchair again. He died a few weeks before Christmas, unmarried and not trusting anyone that came too close. His bones still showed themselves under his skin, unable to reach a healthy weight. He died the same day his captor was executed by firing squad.

John spiraled into a deep depression. Survivors guilt plagued his thoughts, unable to stop thinking about how he should've saved him sooner. _Alex would still be alive if you didn't go get him yourself_ is all he could hear as he closed his eyes at night. 

John overdosed on antidepressants on New Years Eve, clinging to a picture of him and Alex. _He couldn't wait to see him again >_


End file.
